To let go.

Sigh. This isn't a good day. For both Sihui & I. Sucks man.

Sometimes, you get too attached to something, and then refuse to let go. Perhaps its time you learn that letting go is the only way to go. There are moments in life where you feel like giving up, you feel like wiping off the smile on your face to replace it with the true expression. But you hang on. You always do. And in the process, you might forget your true feelings; you might forget how to really express yourself. But you’ll be brought back to it, you’ll be brought back by one person, that you’ll never ever forget. That guy, would be the one to help you open up, even though he’d be the one to make you cry, to make you feel things that you refused to feel before. And crying is definitely one of them. The promise that you have made to yourself, the one where you promised yourself to never cry, would be broken. It might be in vain, it might not. At least you learnt to speak up, to show your true feelings. There’ll be people who can see through you, people who don’t. But you got to learn for yourself, that you would have to be yourself.
Yes, everyone knows, and those who really know, letting go is hard. It’s not as easy to just pick a skill up, and then stop learning it. It’s not as easy to let go, as it is to have your pet die, and you just forget about it. A pet’s different from an actual person, someone who have touched your heart in ways you never thought would happen. Someone who perhaps showed you how love could be. Yes, I know it’s stupid, since no one would have expected a sixteen year old to really know what love is about. And it’s your stupid naivety that makes you believe that it really is. But it’s better than anything else, better than the flowers that you love so much, better than the sunset from the plane. It’s an unexplainable feeling, a feeling so indescribable that you can’t find anything to describe it, really. But other than the happy times, it’s been really heart breaking.
It’s time you learn to let go. It’s time you learn that there are many things awaiting for you out there, to learn that there are still many things you can experience in the world, without being grounded here. You aren’t meant to be tied down, we all know that. But you could be, if you met the right person, at the right place, at the right time.
You could always give it another shot, try harder, since you’ve already gone so far, but try not to lose yourself in the process. It’d hurt, but maybe it’ll work. You won’t know until you try.
There are always times where you feel that no one really cares, that if maybe you just die, they’ll all be like ‘oh that’s so sad’ and then just forget all about you. Those times are the loneliest, but you just have to get through it. That’s what you have to do, that’s what you need to do.

Maybe you shld just die and it'd solve things,damnit.